Bipolar, middle aged men go to the midnight sea for one reason.
They take off their clothes. They make a neat pile. They balance their phone and wallet on top. They taste the water on their pale, desperate skin. They end their lives of pain and loneliness amongst the waves. The seagulls cry. The fish force tears. God cries in vast, shuddering gulps.
Except it doesn’t have to end like that.
I know. I’ve been to the midnight sea and seen myself in the froth and the fear. I walked out further than most. Barefoot on the shingle, each step taking me one further from the land. One closer to heaven or at least an end to the agony. I stood barefooted and stared down the blue horizon. Death didn’t look back. She did. And so, I lived.
She was all woman but partly of the sea. She emerged that night with the moonbeams playing upon her curves. Breasts to cling to, shoulders to sing to and a queen to be king to. We kissed like new lovers and oldest friends. We held like companions and completed parts of the pieces. She shone with a nova star sunlight. Farewell, night time. Suicide killed itself, as our lips dipped into each other.
Loneliness kills as surely as love heals. It brings joy and joy and further joy still. There is the glorious love for another. To worship someone, to explore their lives and their past, their bodies and the best of them. There is the love that comes for yourself.
“ Love another and you’ll see the beauty in you. . .]
In your fat fingers and your flat hair and your dull voice. Embrace a lady of the sea and hug yourself. You are strong. You are validated. You are great, whatever life brings.
Most powerfully, when you pick up love from the shingle, like some dried out hermit crab, you pick up the key to the cosmos. To the bounty of the universe. To the mind of God almighty. Love her. Love yourself. Then see the light shine in all the darkness of the world. Into every crevice it shines. Into every last corner. Into every torture chamber and every act of wickedness. Look hard and see love. See humanity. See your sisters and brothers. Just limited and hurting. Just waiting to grow and be abundant like you and your love.
Turn your back on the midnight sea. Choose love.
“ It won’t let you down. You’ll travel to planets. . .]
You. Never. Go. Back.